Mission to the Czech Republic

I never cooked much before I came here, but in realizing that at some point in my life I needed to be able to do more than toast bread or place pre-made, pre-cut cookie dough into an oven, I figured that this year was a good time to start.

Really, what better time to start than when all products, directions, and ingredients are in a language I don’t understand? Below is a list of cooking tips for your reference, which I have compiled from various people’s ideas or creations this year, mostly including my own mishaps:

-boiled potatoes and scrambled eggs do not a Spanish omelet make.
-Mexican food is way more satisfying when you flip the tortillas in the frying pan
-there is such a thing as non-instant pudding; in such cases, adding milk and stirring for 30 minutes will not result in the desired pudding-y consistency
-if you run out of milk for your pancakes, red wine will suffice as a substitute
-peeling potatoes is much more dangerous if you do it after you boil them
-if you decide to whip your whipping cream by hand, don’t. Use a mixer, unless you want to waste an hour of your time with nothing to show for it but arthritis and half a bowl of white foam.
-make sure you know the word for butter before you buy it. The packets of lard look exactly the same
-baking soda is weaker in CZ…use more of it
-Bisquick can solve 85% of your cooking needs
-the juice is supposed to be that thick; you just need to add water to it
-cucumbers are not an ok substitute for zucchini in a baked dish
-simply estimating your accuracy when translating spice names can result in very, very hot chili
-Czech restaurants strongly believe that corn, tuna, broccoli, seafood of any kind, and blue cheese are sufficient pizza toppings. Just go with it.
-Sometimes your attempt to recreate the Bojangle’s bo-berry biscuit experience will result in flat, blueberry-flavored circles. We don’t know why, it just does. Again, go with it.

"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." -?

Jessica: You're name in Czech is pronounced "tomash."
Thomas: that sounds like an exotic tomato dish

Jessica comes home! Hooray! I'll officially be home 28 days from today. That's June 18th to be exact. And I am quite excited, I assure you. It's been a long, amazing 9 1/2 months. In case you're interested, I'm really looking forward to the following:

-seeing you : )
-driving
-good Mexican food
-Chick-fil-a
-barbeque
-cookie dough ice cream
-understanding conversations
-understanding anything
-riding my bike
-whitewater rafting (still up for it Zach?)
-the Decemberists concert (anyone interested?)
-sleeping in my own bed
-having a dryer
-having a dishwasher
-carpeted floors
-Visiting Crosspoint
-buying mass quantities of food at one time at the grocery store
-customer service
-downtown Greenville

...and much, much, much more. So mark your calendars make sure I get to see you!

I'll only be home for a month. The winds of Prague are calling my name back to live in this country for another year. I haven't determined yet if I'm crazy for doing it, but I know God will be there wherever I go. So I'm going to at least give it a shot!

And hey, there is now a direct flight from Atlanta to Prague...and I have an open couch (or I will, whenever I find an apartment...). So come visit me if you didn't make it this year! Let the countdown begin...

Date: May 7, 2007
Current mood: really good
Weather: sunny and much too warm for the two jackets I had on this morning
Listening to: The Decemberists
Why this is a good day: Cancelled classes mean extra time to write and do important things like laundry

I am in one of those moods today where I just feel unexplainably joyful, and in looking for an outlet I realize that turning it into praise to God is probably the best response. So I would like to take this time to brag on God a little, out of thankfulness and wonder, and fill everyone in on recent events in my life here.

After teaching for seven months, I’ve found that while I’m not bad at it, and I don’t dislike it, I’m not in love with it either, and I know there are other things I’m just better at and enjoy doing more. Thus I decided to return to the U.S. after my year was up. (One example of how God’s changing me; I can now admit that I’d prefer something else without feeling guilty). Somewhere around late February or early March, I started getting this strange feeling that I didn’t want to leave. Maybe it’s because I had already told my program I wasn’t coming back and I knew my time in Europe was growing short, but I felt this strange pull to stay. And then some of you wrote me to ask if I was staying another year, I immediately said no but found that I kept having to convince myself that that was true. But I knew I didn’t want to teach, so I had no reason to stay, right?

The last few months have been a crazy whirlwind of exploring what exactly “God’s will” even means, and learning how to and how not to make decisions. A large part of me just wanted to be “normal” in my own definition of the word. I wanted to be like my other 23-year-old friends and start working, start getting adjusted to life outside of college, and do normal, 20-something activities. The other large part of me feared that I would sink into the dreaded monotony of the working life, that I would somehow not stay involved in a church, and that I should try and work in ministry somewhere to avoid sliding backwards. So at this point, part of me felt pulled to stay in Europe, but I didn’t have any options here, but none of my options at home felt right either. And I was frustrated beyond belief, wanting God to drop the answer in front of it but feeling terrified because I knew I couldn’t disobey.

In the midst of all this, I have begun to have a better understanding of verses like “Do not be terrified and do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1: 3). I slowly have begun to remember that God will go with me wherever I am; that He goes before me and behind me, taking care of things I may never even see. And in some way I will never understand, He knows where I will go and yet He lets me choose to allow His Spirit to guide me. I am incredibly humbled by this thought, amazed that God would care enough to actually lead me somewhere – anywhere – and I don’t feel I deserve it at all. But as I’m learning, that’s the kind of character God has, and all those people who told me that God does care about every detail of our life, and that He will protect us and lead us in His truth, may actually have been onto something…

Over Easter I went to Egypt and realized just how addicted I am to traveling. I simultaneously love and hate it. It’s stressful but thrilling and I’m always amazed at what I get to see. During the trip I kept having the though, rather selfish I’ll admit, that I just wasn’t ready to give up this lifestyle quite yet. Once again I considered next year: go home and start “real life”? Or stay longer and start “real life” the following year? When you meet other travelers doing the same thing you are, it doesn’t seem so crazy after all. Camping in the desert seems normal. The day after I got back I was talking to another Fishnet teacher about my dilemma, and I think my exact words were “If someone offered me a job in Prague right now, I would take it.” In my journal I wrote that I would only take a job if it landed in my lap; I know myself well enough to know that I wasn’t in the mood to actually seek something out, but I secretly wanted to.

That Friday I received an email from a previous employer asking me if I wanted to come back and work for them. I sent my email and, at a friend’s suggestion, casually asked about their office in Prague. Monday I received an email saying that the Prague office just happens to be hiring. Bam. Job opportunity. In my lap. Again, I was simultaneously excited and terrified (be careful what you wish for). This has been the first time in my life where I feel that a decision I make may have a really significant impact on my future and the person I become. I’m afraid to leave and afraid to stay, but I know at some point I need to let go of that fear and just fall face first into life and all the good things in it. There is no perfect decision.

This is where I really started seeing God move. I didn’t realize it at first. I’ve never really been sure when people say stuff like that. Really, I mean, it could just be coincidence. But at this point, I believe all things come from God in some form or another (after all, He is the creator), so you better believe I’m going to credit Him for this.

Anyway, someone told me that when you follow God, you really just do one of two things: stay where you are, or move. Well, staying was out of the question, so that meant I had to move. And I also learned this isn’t just a figurative “move.” God is not figurative. God is real. So my steps are real. As a very wise person told me, if you just keep moving, God will direct your steps. The easy thing, which has been and continues to be extremely tempting, is to move to my desk chair and send an email saying I’ll take the job in Greenville. That would eliminate about 90% of the obstacles that come with pursuing that same job in Prague. But I just couldn’t ignore this door that had opened. It was like I hesitantly approached it, trying to peer in and see where it would lead, but I couldn’t see that far. So I had to move through it, which is what I’ve decided to do, and see how far it goes. Moving has taken me on a train to Prague late at night, to an interview at their office, to multiple churches around the city, and to meetings with people in the Christian community.

There are still so many ways this door could close between now and then. What if I don’t get the job? What if I don’t have time to go home this summer? How long do I have to stay? What if I hate it? What if I’m alone? What if I can’t afford to live in Prague? Where am I going to live? Where am I going to go to church and who am I going to hang out with? Each one of these is a baby step for me, and each one that I’ve made so far has kept me going in that direction.

With every step, every answered prayer, I am humbled all over again that God would give me even more. I often feel I’ve reached some sort of quota and I have to prepare for the rest of it to be next to impossible because that’s just how life is sometimes and we just have to deal with it. Any minute, God’s going to say alright, that’s all you get. I mean, honestly, the whole situation is just incredible to me. It’s like over the last few months God was mentally preparing me for this opportunity. And I who am I to even have an opportunity like this? To continue living and serving in the Czech Republic and actually have income? To already have a network of friends throughout this country? To have connections with that job only because of connections from home? To be told I can start and end on the days that I want? To already being plugged into churches and Younglife because of my contacts in Ostrava? To have four weeks of vacation so I can see my family at Christmas and be in my best friend’s wedding? For Delta to start flying directly from Prague to Atlanta?

When I think about it, I don’t know how it could not be God. The farther through the door I go, the more that keeps falling into place. I have been extremely comforted by the words of a friend, that “the door God opens no man can close.” There still exists a huge possibility that I could just not get the job. But the fact that I feel like I’m being guided helps me to trust that God does care, that He does have a place for me and that He’ll get me there eventually. If I do end up back in Greenville, that will be ok because I knew I did what I could, that I at least tried to see where this Prague opportunity could lead, and God led me somewhere else.
So there’s that. God is so amazing, in who He is and in the way He works and displays His glory in even the smallest of ways. And in that I am joyful.