Mission to the Czech Republic

There’s always been humor in my family. It’s one of the best parts about coming home. We sit around the dinner table, probably one of the last families in America to do so, for a mealtime full of witty banter and good-humored mockery. It usually starts off with my dad telling a story from work, of some unusual copilot or, more likely, some embarrassing situation he found himself in. This undoubtedly leads to reminiscing of other past humiliations, whether it be the time he clung for dear life to a wildly spasming tree trunk he’d tied himself to, running chainsaw in hand, or the time he repeatedly called our interior decorator by her first and last name combined into one. This time, my mother was recounting in disbelief that my father, upon being asked to take our old magazines to the recycling center, had managed to come home with more magazines that he’d left with, collected straight from the 4ft x 6ft dumpster. “I mean, why would you get a subscription?! They must have hundreds you can choose from!” He did have a point. He was also banned from recycling duty.
Dad’s never been much for admitting mistakes. He’s an intelligent person (I suppose you have to be to obtain an electrical engineering degree and a pilot’s license) but it doesn’t seem to cross his mind that intelligent and infallible are not the same thing. Occasionally the story comes up of how he’d never heard the phrase “my bad” because, well, nothing is ever his bad. The following night, as we enjoyed dinner on the back deck, I was nervously going over possible interview questions I could face the next day. Of course everyone was keen to offer their own suggestions, and before we knew it we had launched into a role play of what a hypothetical interview with Dad would have been like:
Q: What would you consider some of your strengths?
Dad: How much time you got buddy? Anyone need a coffee break before we get started?
Q: How about your weaknesses?
Dad: …………(silence)………………(blank stare)………..
We could, of course, never get by without his infinite wisdom and wit. After all, it was him who wrote out in neat bullet-pointed steps just exactly how to apply for/sign up for/buy/whatever it is you actually do/ a CD at the bank. Zach and I marched into our local Wachovia, proudly prepared to do something that requires a certain level of responsibility and knowledge; thank goodness Dad prepared us:
Bank guy: So, you’d like to buy some CDs…
Me: (glancing quickly at the paper in Zach’s hand) yes…
Bank guy: ok…so we’ve got a couple of options…
Zach: yes, we’d like the, uh (looks down)…the one at 4.25%...at…uh….
Bank guy: …….(raised eyebrow)….you reading this?
Both: ….er, yes…
Yes, in spite of slight embarrassments that come with reintegrating back into America, or the good-hearted bickering that goes on at my house, what can I say? It’s good to be home.

I blinked and all of a sudden I'm in America again. I'm not really sure what happened. The decision was nothing at all like it was last year, when I was internally tormented while analysing the long-term impacts of such a choice. The only resemblance is that, again, it took only two weeks for me to change my mind. I didn't think I'd be back so soon. I fell in love with Prague. I lived with great flatmates in a fabulous flat (which we fondly referred to as "Fricova Palace"), a decent job, and the best friends I could ask for from just about every country. There was no shortage of adventure and excitement, even if my life did reflect that of an exhausted workaholic most of the time.

I think it was the first time when I ever just...lived. I could just "be." There was no internal push to become better, which was new territory for me. I finally learned to just enjoy myself and the life around me, whether it was work or friends or the city. I didn't feel disappointed because I hadn't reached some quota of countries I wanted to visit during the year (although I did manage to hit Croatia, Slovenia, and Turkey right there at the end), and I didn't always feel like I had to participate in everything there was to do. I could stay home every night for a week and for the first time in my life, not feel guilty for missing out on a church small group meeting or for not reading some deep, intellectual novel trying to "improve" myself. I'd just plop down on my bed and watch two hours of Scrubs, and usually I'd be offered dinner by my flatmate John, or Jana and I would stay up and chat in the kitchen over some red wine. And I was amazed at how people responded to this! When I left I was overwhelmed at the outpouring of emails and calls and letters from people saying how much they'd miss me, how much I'd affected them this year and how much I'd meant to them. Me?? Despite the fact that I can be moody, selfish, and about a hundred other undesireable qualities, they liked me anyway. It's a massive weight off of my life to finally understand I don't have to strive to be the perfect at everything, the "perfect Christian." Maybe I'm way off on this, but it did feel good to be able to say out loud "I really don't like that person" but continue to try and love them anyway, rather than to tell everyone "yeah, they're really not so bad. I like them." It was such a load of bull. Everyone knows it. Just be honest, for once. God, it's refreshing to feel some honesty.

However, I now find myself back in America, getting ready to start a new job, and wondering if I made the right decision. Job-wise, I think I did, but I miss so many things about my life in Europe. I fear that to be successful in this job, I'll have to revert back to my old ways of obsessive perfection. Prague was so easy-going, yet productive at the same time; I'd finally found a good balance, so what on earth am I doing back here?

Surely it can't be as bad as I imagine. In the meantime, I'm going to do exactly what I did when I came home from Spain: cling to every piece of life that reminds me of Prague, while at the same time trying not to start sentences with "Well, when I was in Prague," and talk about how I've exhausted Youtube's listing of Divojke Bill videos. Just like right now.

Dear Agent JE551 -

We are currently in the process of integrating a new project known as the "N-project." Immediate assistance is required regarding the exportation of a certain, undisclosed product. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to report to the N-project site near the Croat-Hungarian border at 0900 hours exactly one week from today.

This message will self destruct...in ten seconds...

Ok, so that's not EXACTLY what the email said, but that's more or less how it felt. It was like being assigned some secret mission, where you receive minimal details and just pray that you get what you need as you go. I was pretty shocked when they asked me to go. My thoughts jumped from "Wow, they're actually sending me on a business trip!" to "what on earth have I just gotten myself into?!" to "I wonder if I'll get to visit Croatia...."

They didn't do much to prepare me. All I knew is that there was a new business that we needed to integrate into our logistics process and I was going to be the one to oversee it...sort of. I think they just wanted all the important people to put a face on the girl who will be doing all of the grunt work, but hey, at least it'd be a learning experience. Monday rolls around - I'm supposed to fly out that evening - and my boss calls me into her office mid-morning to discuss what presentations I'm going to be giving.

"I'm sorry, what now? I have to PRESENT something to these people?"

By late afternoon my bp was probably something like 2000/90. I wasn't so nervous about the trip, but just about the possibility of missing my flight. I was packed and ready to go (I had decided against the black jacket and dark sunglasses, lest I look too suspicous for my mission), but I wasn't released until about 4pm. Ran full speed over to the company that actually pays me, who are located across town, to pick up my plane ticket and advance money, and high-tailed it to the airport. I have never in my life felt so "corporate": small rolling suitcase, dressed up since I'd just left work, laptop bag over my shoulder, cell phone to my ear as I was frantically trying to take care of the rest of my shipments, the whole time thinking "dear Lord, how did it come to this?" I swore I'd never be like that...

Arrived at Budapest 9-ish, and was delighted to discover the hotel was very close to downtown and one block from the Danube. Ready for a walk an a little exploring, I dumped my bags in my room, changed clothes real quick, turned on the TV to check the news, and then...wait, I have a TV in here? I haven't seen a TV since CHRISTMAS!! I wonder what English channels they have? Oo look they have German MTV! And Spanish news - I really should practice my Spanish more. What language is this one? Sounds like...no, it's not anything I recognize...oh, duh, must be Hungarian then....

and so on...

So I spent my first night in Budapest flipping through the channels (Dad if you are reading this, I promise I won't do that again!). I shouldn't admit to these things, really. But it was just as well as I had to meet the "big boss" - my boss's boss - for breakfast at 7:30.

After a lovely continental breakfast, a surprisingly scenic taxi ride to Avis Rental Cars, and a minor arguement with staff as to why they didn't have a car with GPS that we'd requested, I found myself riding shotgun with a map trying to navigate us out of the city. Slightly nervewracking, as it's always good to look like you can read a map in front of your boss when you work in logistics...

Luckily, we made it out no problem, and found ourselves on a 2 hour journey to Nagykanizsa. We call it the "N-site" because none of us can actually pronounce it. I slept a good portion of the way, and we finally arrived around 10:30 or 11. I'll skip the boring parts since it was basically just a business meeting, but we met with (to my surprise..and joy) a lively Southern-American guy who's overseeing the integration, the quiet but very nice plant manager, and two very unenthused locals who will be my logistics contacts. Overall I think it went well. I had to give an on-the-spot presentation of our tracking database system because the phone our IT guy was going to use to do it via conference call was probably from 1974 and it sounded like he was calling us from the moon.

The odd thing was, we never broke for lunch. We talked with finance people, logistics people, materials managers, just about everyone you could involve (and all were very nice and laid back, which is a good thing because I'm always afraid they will be the really important people who take themselves to seriously), but there was never any mention about food. I downed a coke just to get my blood sugar up, but soon my mind started drifting as I tried to will myself to NOT get a headache. I don't dare tell my boss that the reason I don't know some of the information discussed in the meeting is because I was thinking about food...

We finished up around 5:30. Long day, but I felt good - and a bit proud of myself for making it through my first real business meeting. Thankfully my boss stopped so we could get pastry's for the road, and once back in Budapest we walked around the downtown area of Pest until we found a restaurant that looked good.

I'm not one to take advantage of company money, but the fact that I wasn't paying for this just reduced my guilt for wanting something more than the cheapest thing on the menu. Feeling adventurous, I ordred the Pumpkin Raviolli. So I was a bit surprised when it was set down in front of me in a bowl with a spoon. Yup, it was Pumpkin Soup.

Waiter "Oh, I'm very sorry. We have no more Pumpkin Raviolli."

Somehow I don't think bringing a different dish with the same ingredients really counts, but I just went with it and got a side of spinach leaves, tomato, and mozzarella (the official name sounded much more appetizing). Even treated myself to dessert, although I swore I'd never eat again I was so full.

Had to rise and shine at 5:30 to catch our flight. We drove to the airport in a dense fog, and the closer we got, the lower the temperature dropped. By the time we arrived it was -9 (ok, in Celsius, but still). It took some time to find where to return the rental car, and by the time we figured it out, we were so disoriented we didn't remember which direction the airport actually was. Visibility was about 20 feet, not kidding, and so we stumbled around in the freezing, white oblivian until we finally saw a light ahead that WASN'T a street lamp.

Made it back to Prague, and I worked until almost 8 that night. Exhausted (ha..I almost said "knackered"), I dragged myself home only to find that we had no heat. I quickly jumped into the shower to warm up only to realize we had no hot water either. Then, after months of silence, the banshee in the bathroom returned. That horrible, screaming noise coming from the pipes. I really just could not be bothered with it at that point, so I put on enough layers to trek to the north pole, threw on my headphones, and promptly fell asleep in the living room chair.

And so ended my first assignment. Back to Budapest next week where I get to do it all again! This time to Verigs...Verehzy...Veresegyhaz...who knows!!

Cheers : )

Annoying British Guy at the Club: “Are you a Septo?”
Me: “What?”
ABGatC: “You ARE!”
Me: ”What?”
ABGatC: “A Septic. Septic tank.”
Me: “……………………………………..…….” (curious, skeptical look)
ABGatC: “A YANK”
Me: “………………………………..…………” (very annoyed look)
ABGatC: “A Yankee! Damn American Yankee.”

Oh, right. Of course. I should be used to that kind of thing by now (as well as the cockneyed attempt at communicating), but to be honest, I’m a bit jaded. I’m jaded of being the only American in a Czech office, I’m jaded of being a Christian in an atheistic country, and I’m jaded of being the one “corporate whore” among my Christian friends (as one so lovingly put it…joking, of course, but still..).

I’m pretty sure I have no actual grounds to gripe about living and working in such a diverse place. After all, I did choose to be here. I know I’m very much an outsider at work. I like and get along with everyone, and they seem to like me, but you can’t really be a part of the every-day stuff the team goes through. I can’t laugh and chat with them throughout the day, but it would be ridiculous to expect them to speak English to each other. I’ve had, what, 17 months to learn at least basic Czech? Yeah, I have no place to talk. Again I remind myself that I chose to do this.

I try to remember this whenever the issue of being an American is made to be...well, an issue. Foreign policy aside, people generally seem to like us ok as individuals, but their expectations amuse me. I’ve had people respond in complete surprise when they found out I was American because I’m not fat/stupid/geographically impaired/addicted to fast food/etc. On a particularly sunny day this week, I got off the bus a few stops early to enjoy walking the rest of the way to the office. When my colleagues heard this, one actually said “but why? You are American.” When looked at individually, comments like that are nothing and easy to blow off. But I’m surprised at how after months and months, they really become irritating. I feel like I’m always on the defensive for the sake of my family and friends back home, and the good things about my country, but I’m about at the point where I want to quit trying and start going along with it. “Yes, we are wasteful. Here, watch me throw away this plastic bag.” Probably not the best or most mature attitude.

For someone who does not like to draw attention, I get easily annoyed when my “American-ness” (or even lackthereof), becomes a topic of interest to people. Many times I don’t want to talk about it, argue about it, or think about it, I just want to be known as “a person.” But really, I am an American through and through. It’s a part of my identity and I don’t think it’s something I should be ashamed of. But I’m slowly starting to see the deeper cultural differences between myself and those around me here. At a friend’s flat recently, I picked up a book on her coffee table that was something about understanding Czechs. It was one of those books for people adjusting to a foreign country and culture. And I’m ashamed to admit this, but when I looked at it I actually thought, Man, I sure wish Czech people here would read a similar book on understanding Americans. What good is it for me to try and understand them if they aren’t going to try and understand me? I was horrified by my own egocentrism (and I think my friend was too). Outside of the comfort and familiarity of home, little selfish thoughts start to seep in. Culture shock, perhaps? Maybe. Maybe I just need a good kick in the pants to remind me that I am a stranger in a foreign land, who has chosen to live and work among these people, and who should take great joy in such an opportunity, and be glad that any of the Czechs have taken any time to get to know me at all.

To be continued……

And as for Annoying British Guy at the Club, I told him he had better be really careful calling a southern girl a Yankee ; )

A few pictures from my vacation in December. Two great weeks at home followed by a very impressive new years fireworks celebration in Prague. Happy 2008!

I'm tempted to start this entry with some apology for why I haven't written in forever. But really, let's be honest, I just didn't feel like it. Large gaps between entries usually mean that I'm 1) really busy, and 2) thoroughly enjoying myself. Yup, that pretty much describes the last month. And since I'm home in the evening for the fourth night in a row after coming down with some horrible insomnia-inducing cold, I figured this would be as good a time as any to sit down and think of something interesting to say.

Really, I just work a lot now. Probably not much different from what it'd be like at home except I take a tram to the office, I have to call places like Dubai, and I frequently get to stand at the window of our 5th floor office building and watch snow flurries : ) Oh and I won an ipod in a GE contest last week..that was pretty awesome.

One thing that has made this year be a lot different from last is that I've hardly gone anywhere, travel-wise anyway. I've made three trips to Bratislava for visa reasons (which I finally got last week!), and made side trips from there to Vienna twice, but nothing new so far. Sort of ironic since Prague is so much more centrally located. Although I guess there is also a lot more to do.

Sometime recently a group of us got a bright idea that we were going to participate in one of Bevan and Matt's "activities" that they organize for work. It basically involved two teams setting up tents all around Prague and taking pictures for points. I'm sure we looked like one of those TV shows that plays tricks on people or just does dumb stuff. We never asked permission, but proceeded to set up our tent and take pictures in some strategic places including but not limited to: a hotel lobby, the tram tracks, an escalator, a carousel, and the middle of the Anti-American-Radar-Base protest.

Had my first real, official Halloween costume party - dressed as some sort of pirate...ghost...something, but we sure got some looks when we went out all dressed up! I was lucky enough to have two amazing Thanksgiving dinners, one at the church, and one that was mostly cooked by Kassidee. Very nice to be able to share the tradition with a mixture of cultures.

After more than a year of threatening, I finally saw an opera by Dvorak. I'd meant to in Ostrava first because I've never seen an opera, and second because the theater was named after him. Here we got to see Rusalka from box seats! Thankfully they had English subtitles on a screen above the stage so we could follow the story line. I will say I did enjoy it. And I liked the fun costumes. Thanks to Bronwyn we got to go back stage at (I almost said at "half-time") intermission, and it was like walking into some mideivel world with everyone dressed up!

This weekend it looks like it will be baking cookies and introducing everyone to the wonderful existence of buckeyes....mmm..buckeyes...hopefully I can shake this cold before then :/